The inspirational journeys of people who are long-term survivors of HIV
Pat
Pat
Seattle, USA
Pat, a long-term #HIV survivor in Seattle, is a pioneer in the HIV/AIDS community. She is one of the founders of the Babes Network, an HIV-positive women’s support organization, and has worked in countless classrooms to help educate youth about sexual health. Photographs and story by Pat.
We worked, we played and we lived the lives of 20- and 30-somethings. We survived the recessions and layoffs, and enjoyed the good times together. But then, in 1984, over the course of two weeks, my life exploded, and all the pieces came tumbling down. My partner and I were both diagnosed with HIV.
If COVID is the plague of 2020, AIDS was the plague of the 1980s and 90s. This was long before there were medications to treat HIV. Many called it a death sentence. Misinformation, fear, homophobia, racism, sexism, and stigma were heaped on anyone who was HIV-positive and those who were suspected to be HIV-positive.
People felt that they needed to protect themselves from us. Walls, fences, and isolation were all around—us versus them. Each disclosure of our status was filled with fear and, sometimes, danger.
My partner, Bob, wanted to be able to die at home. I was with him when he pushed his soul out of his body. He found his peace. It was an honour to witness an act so personal. He was 39 years old.
I believe that it is an honour to be with someone when they are born and when they die.
To me, grief has a texture. Fresh grief felt like very rough sandpaper, painful as it wore me down.
Sometimes the grit was a finer grade, but that pain continued. I yearned for the day that my grief would be like velvet, soft and sensual. When asked about grief, many people say, “It will get better with time.” For me it didn’t get better, but it got different. I have held on to my grit. I understand it now.
Today, I’m thankful to have access to medications with a lack of side- effects. While I have experienced a tremendous amount of grief and loss, I continue to practice love and gratitude.
T a k e a c t i o n
Help us share the experience of what it is to be a long-term HIV survivor